Love Was Never Easy: The Truth
by Padfut's-Moon
Summary: JPSS! No slash, no mpreg! Just crossdressing! See into the past of James Potter and Severus Snape. From their childhood to Hogwarts to forever. A bit fluffy, a bit AU, but still fun to read! R&R!
1. Married

Chapter 1  
  
A little girl sat comfortably on her favorite swing. She smiled at her friend, a boy one year older than her and said, "Jamie!!! Push, pwees (please)!!!!"  
  
The boy smiled at the nickname given to her by his young neighbor. "All right, Ina." He said, addressing the little girl with his own nickname for her.  
  
Wanting to start a conversation, Ina said, "Jamie? I want husband! Marry me!"  
  
"Haha!" Jamie laughed, "But we're too young! My mommy and daddy became husband and wife when they were 26! You're only four and me only five! Haha!"  
  
"Marry me!!!!" Ina whined, tears already starting to form in her eyes.  
  
"Okay, okay!" Jamie said as he stopped pushing.  
  
The two of them left the swing and went to pick up some flowers. When they had gathered enough, they joined the flowers together so as to make rings for each other. Then they went to the playhouse and did a pretend ceremony. When Jamie had finally said his "I do," to the hyperactive Ina, Ina insisted that they kissed.  
  
"Close your eyes," Jamie said.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"So that I could kiss you!"  
  
"Do I have to?"  
  
Jamie nodded and said, "My mommy and daddy close their eyes when they kiss. So you should, too!"  
  
"You'll close your eyes, too?"  
  
"Uh huh."  
  
"Are you sure?" Ina asked, looking skeptical.  
  
"Yes!" Jamie almost shouted, "Now close your eyes!"  
  
Ina closed her eyes.  
  
Jamie did, too, but not before cupping Ina's face in his small five-year- old hands.  
  
And the two kissed. Lip to lip. 


	2. I Want To Be The Husband

Chapter 2  
  
A few weeks later.  
  
"Jamie?" Ina said.  
  
The two children were playing house. Ina was cooking dinner and Jamie was at the dinning table, drawing, but they liked to call it 'working.'  
  
"Hmmm?" Jamie answered, looking up from his paper where he had just drawn a stick-figured copy of themselves.  
  
"You're my husband, right?" Ina asked.  
  
"Yap." Jamie answered, putting a hand on his chin. "Is this about money?" He playfully asked, grinning at Ina.  
  
Ina giggled and said, "No, silly!"  
  
"Then what?"  
  
"Well," Ina hesitated, "Can you be the wife, instead?"  
  
"What?" Jamie asked, "How can that be?! I'm the boy and you're the girl! So that means I'm the husband and you're the wife!"  
  
"I know." Ina answered, "But.."  
  
"Why do you want to be the husband, anyway?"  
  
"Because my daddy say's I'm too girlish!"  
  
"Hahaha!" Jamie laughed, "Of course, you're too girlish! You're a girl, remember?"  
  
Ina was almost teary eyed. Jamie was teasing her. "But my daddy wants me to become tough! Like a boy!!!!" She defended herself, putting her hands against her chest to indicate her frustration.  
  
"Hmmm." Jamie said, looking sorry, now that he noticed that Ina was becoming angry. "So now you want to become the husband?"  
  
Ina put her hands together, as if in a praying manner and batted her eyes out, "Pretty please! Jamie!!!"  
  
Jamie chuckled and said, "If you're going to be the husband, you can't be all 'pretty please!!'" and tried to imitate what Ina had done.  
  
Ina, too, laughed for a moment. Then her face became serious. "I'm going to be the husband or I'll box you!" She said as she put her hands in front of her like a boxer would have done.  
  
Jamie laughed harder and kissed Ina on the cheek. "You make a good husband!"  
  
Ina cheered and kissed Jamie back on the cheek, "You'll make a good wife, too!!!"  
  
The two continued playing house, this time, though, Jamie was the wife and Ina, the husband. 


	3. Mommy Goes Bye Bye

Chapter 3  
  
***NOTE!!!! As you'll probably notice when you read the chapter, Ina and Russ is one and the same. Ina will now only come out once in a while or when there's a flashback that is before the 'I want to be the husband' episode, okay. Everything that is after that is purely Russ, a he. ***END NOTE!!!!  
  
"Jamie."  
  
Jamie sighed as he turned around. "Russ! I thought I told you not to call me 'Jamie' anymore!!!"  
  
'Russ,' who had once been known as 'Ina,' smiled and went into his rare 'I'm-still-a-girl-inside' mode. Ever since that day when they had agreed that she would be the husband and Jamie the wife, Russ had kept his façade. Jamie could count in his hands the number of times in the last six years that Russ showed his true self. Of course, Russ only showed 'Ina,' to himself. To everybody else, especially his father, there was never an 'Ina,' only 'Russ.' Russ was already too boyish for anyone to consider him as otherwise when he went to school, so nobody in school ever suspected anything, either.  
  
Jamie smiled and once again wondered how a man could ever think of changing this beautiful girl in front of him into something that she is so obviously not.  
  
"I know," Ina said, "I promise that was the last time. Write us, okay?"  
  
Jamie was leaving for Hogwarts today. They were in the train station, waiting for the other students of Hogwarts to come and the train to leave. Ina had offered to go with her best friend to the train station, and so did Harry.  
  
Harry was Russ' pet dog. Jamie gave Russ the dog when he turned five, suggesting that Harry become their temporary baby. As normal parents would do, they taught Harry what he needed to know. They taught him how to use the potty, trained him with several tricks, and they even fed him milk from a baby bottle when he was only a pup.  
  
"'course, I'll write you. I'll never forget you and Harry."  
  
"Promise?"  
  
"Cross my heart and hope to die!!!"  
  
They smiled and kissed each other on the cheek. Jamie patted Harry on his head and said,  
  
"Take care of daddy, okay?"  
  
Bark Bark Bark!!!  
  
"We'll see you in June, then, James Potter," Ina said, putting her cap on backwards. Ina was gone and Russ took his place.  
  
"See you, too, Sabrina Snape."  
  
"Don't call me that!" Russ snapped.  
  
Hearing the new, but now familiar tone of Russ, he looked up and smiled. He playfully punched Russ on the shoulder and said, "Fine then, Severus." 


	4. A Reason To Hate

Chapter 4

****

September 1

Russ & Harry, 

Hey! Just got here in Hogwarts. Need I tell you what house I'm in? Hehehe… Of course, I'm in Gryffindor. Like my parents were both in Gryffindor, right? Would you rather put me in Slytherin? Hmmmm… Dave, my cousin (remember him?), wasn't kidding when he said that Hogwarts was a great place. I've only been in the Great Hall and our dorms, still I feel a lot of magic already. It's so cool here! Wish you were here, bes'. Say 'hi' to Harry for me, k?   
James

~*~*~*~

****

September 7

James, 

Ha! I called you 'James!' Weird!!!! Anyway, Harry and I miss you! How ya doing? Is Hogwarts as cool as your cousin said it would be? Come on, tell me!!!! You've been in Hogwarts for like what? A week? And you haven't written one lousy letter! I'm starting to think you've forgotten us! Joke!!!! Hehehe…. By the way, Harry says "Bark, Bark, BarkBark," which probably means, "Hi Mommy! Miss you!" 

Waiting for ya letter, dude. 

Russ and Harry

~*~*~*~

****

September 7

Russ & Harry, 

Hey! You didn't reply to my letter! That's unfair! I promise to write you every week, but you have to write me, too, okay? Anyway, Hogwarts is fun. There's these three guys I met and they're really cool. Their names are Sirius, Remus, and Peter. They like to play pranks on the teachers. I'm liking it, too!!! Hehehe… Poor Mr. White… His first lesson with us didn't go so well. He couldn't stop farting to say a damn word!!! Anyway, I'll be going now. Charms! 

James

~*~*~*~

****

October 1

James, 

Hey! It's been a month, now, and you haven't written me a letter. If you're not going to keep your promise, I'll punch you to death when you come home! Harry's getting impatient, too. Come on, just a little letter won't hurt ya! 

Russ and Harry

~*~*~*~

November 1

James, 

Hey!!! We're getting really impatient! If you're not going to write back, this will be our last letter to you! Hmpph!!! Bes' bud, huh? You know what? We don't think I'm still you're best bud. You probably have another best friend there at Hogwarts. Well, anyway, as I said, this is your last chance. If we don't get a letter at the end of this week, then just forget we've ever been friends because friends don't forget each other.   
Russ and Harry

~*~*~*~

November 7

James,   
We Hate YOU!!!!

Russ and Harry

~*~*~*~

May 13

Russ & Harry, 

Hey! Fine, you're not writing me or anything. But I still keep my promise. I'm a good friend, ain't I? Hmmm… Anyway, a few more weeks and then we'll see each other again. Gosh!!! (I still sound like a girl, don't I? *Sigh* Old habits are so hard to forget!) It's been so long! What does Harry look like now? Did he get bigger? Not that he's not too big already. Hehehe… Will you be in the train station to pick me up? Hope you are. Bye!

James

~*~*~*~

May 29

Russ, 

Hey you!!! Happy now? I wrote you didn't I? Honestly!!!! You've been expecting me to write you? Ha!! You make me laugh. By the way, I have a new best friends!!! They are Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. We do everything together. Guy stuff. They're not like you, not trying hard lesbians. They're real guys. About Harry, don't ever call me it's 'mommy' again! I'm not a fagot, if you get my drift! I'm staying over Sirius' for the summer so don't expect to see me. Understand? 

'Jamie.' 

~*~*~*~

*********************************************************************************

Meanwhile…

"I want all those letters intercepted!!!" A tall man with long, black hair that was put in a neat ponytail fumed. "I don't like this James Potter. He's making my son turn into a weak, pathetic girl!!!! I want my son to hate James Potter, do you understand me, Reginald?"  
"Yes, Mr. Snape, sir." Reginald, an old guy wearing a wrinkled dress robe, bowed and answered. "The letters will be intercepted. Not one letter of the Potter kid to your son and vice versa will reach each other."   
"Good." Mr. Snape said.

****


	5. InsideOut Hurt

"Slytherin!"  
  
Everybody clapped as Severus took off the Sorting hat and headed towards the Slytherin table. He was greeted by boys and girls his gage who congratulated him for making it to the 'best' house in Hogwarts.  
  
As he sat down, he chanced a glance at the Gryffindor table. When he saw James looking his way, though, and mouthing, "I'll talk to ya, later," he looked away and instead stared at his still empty plate. He hasn't decided what to eat because, even if he was as hungry as a pig, he couldn't take his mind off James. He was so angry! So angry that his knuckles were becoming white.  
  
"I hate you, James Potter!" He thought. "You'll pay for betraying me. For betraying us!!!!"  
  
His thoughts were suddenly interrupted when he felt a person touch him.  
  
"Hey," the person, a boy with silvery blonde hair, said, "You hate them, too?"  
  
"Who?" Severus growled.  
  
"James Potter and his friends, of course."  
  
"Ha!" Severus chuckled, "Hate them?"  
  
The person nodded. "Ya, do you?"  
  
Severus smirked. "That's none of your business."  
  
Without thinking, Severus stood up saying that he wasn't hungry. He decided that he'd just walk around the castle until the students have to go to their dorms.  
  
He just shut the door of the Great Hall when another hand made its way on his shoulder. "Hey Russ!"  
  
"Don't you dare call me that!!!" Severus snapped as he caught the hand of the person who had tried to surprise him. It turns out that the poor boy is James Potter. "You have no right to call me that, anymore!"  
  
James looked at him, confused. "Um. Russ?"  
  
"I told you not to call me that!" Severus growled, tightening his hold on James.  
  
"Fine!" James shouted. He grit his teeth, trying not to cry out because of the pain that Severus was inflicting on him. "Severus! What are you doing?! Are you angry with me or something?"  
  
Severus released James, by throwing him across the room. "Angry, James?" He hissed. "You're asking me if I'm angry at you?"  
  
James, still confused about Severus' actions, tried to catch his breath before nodding. He wondered how Severus got so strong that he had the strength to throw him 15 meters from where he was.  
  
"The nerve of you!!!!" Severus all but shouted. Without warning, he threw a punch on James' face. And another. And another. And another... and another..  
  
"James!!!"  
  
"Severus!!!"  
  
Severus suddenly felt stiff as he realized that a teacher had seen them, along with the rest of the school. It was probably time for the students to go to their dorms.  
  
"James!" three boys ran towards James wearing black robes with red and gold outlines. Severus guessed them to be Sirius, Remus, and Peter. He was right. Not even a second after reaching Jame's bruised and unconscious body, one of the three shouted, "James! Wake up. It's us, your best friends? Wake up! That bloody Slytherin will pay."  
  
Severus had stopped listening. After the phrase, "It's us, your best friends?" his eyes had turned red. His anger was just intensifying. He was so angry. He was very angry. He felt he could kill James right then for betraying him and Harry. But, no, he couldn't do that. Not when he was still in a body bind.  
  
"I'm ashamed of you, Severus!" the Slytherin head of the house, Bernard Trendz, said, "And at your first day in Hogwarts, no less!!! If I was as compassionate as McGonagall, I would let you off, but as I am not. Slytherin will suffer sixty points off!"  
  
Severus didn't care. He hated James Potter.  
  
That was all that mattered. 


	6. Fear of Betrayal

"James!"  
  
Looking up from his work, James grinned when he saw that it was Sirius who called. "Quick!" Sirius frantically said, "It's Snape!"  
  
"What about him?" James smirked, "Played another prank on 'im? Another hair dye, I presume?"  
  
"No!!!" Sirius said, more fidgety this time. "It's not just that!!! I think I overdid it this time! I'm so sorry, James! So sorry. I hope you forgive me, James, I'm really so sorry!"  
  
"Sirius!" James shouted, becoming worried. He has never seen Sirius this fidgety as if he was scared. "What is it? You're babbling? Why do I have to forgive you?" "I just came from the Whomping (AN:// I forgot the name!!! Please! Somebody! Tell me!!!) Willow when I saw Snape," Sirius explained in what he hoped was a more calm voice. But he needed to do this quick or the git might be in big trouble. "He's going there, now!" When James didn't seem to comprehend his words, he said, "James! It's a full moon out there!"  
  
James' eyes widened in horror. Severus! Sabrina! "WH AT?!" James shouted, "WHY?!"  
  
Sirius shrugged, "I'm not sure, but I think it had to do something about the taunting I did in Transfiguration class this afternoon. I'm really sorry, James. If I knew he would react like this, I would never have tested him like that."  
  
James nodded and told Sirius it was not his fault. But he, also, wasted no time. He got his cloak and pulled a potion out from his trunk.  
  
"James!" Sirius said, "We haven't tested the Animagus Potion yet!!!"  
  
James didn't care though. He said so, saying, "Well, this is as good a time as any. Come on!" He dragged Sirius out the door and to the Whomping Willow. "Are you sure the Potion's okay?" Sirius said, "That still has a few days to go! If it doesn't work you can get killed!" James nodded determinedly. "I have to do this, Sirius. Sabrina means the world to me."  
  
Sirius nodded understandingly. He knew about Sabrina - the girl that James had fallen in love with. On their first year in Hogwarts, James talked to him a lot about her.and.er, him. Now, he wondered, what happened to that child that his best friend told him off. Severus, or dare he say Sabrina, was a total bastard. His first day in school, he bullied James to death. He was so surprised that he instantly hated him. From then on, he did everything possible to make his life a living hell. Well, that was at least what he wanted, but James always made sure that the pranks he pulled on him were only up to certain level. For years, Sirius pondered on how James could still love Severus when it was so obvious that he hated him. He did many things to show how much he hated him, even going as far as near death. Yet here was James, hoping, believing, that all this was a phase and it would soon be over. Sirius hoped, for his best friend's sake, that it really was just that - a phase.  
  
"I understand," he told James, "I'll go with you!"  
  
"Are you sure, Sirius?" James asked, surprised.  
  
"If Sabrina means this much to you," Sirius said, "Well. let's just say you mean as much to me, Remus, and Peter. You're our brother, James. Your grief, our pain." "Thanks, Siri." James said. He drank a half-cup full of the potion and handed it to Sirius as he felt his body transform. It was painful, so painful that he couldn't help but scream. He wondered how Remus could take the pain if he does this every month. He suddenly felt grief for his friend.  
  
But there was no time. Severus! He pushed the thought of pain away and in no time at all, he no longer had a human body. Instead, his body was that of a stag. It worked!!!! The Animagus Potion worked! After three years of trying to complete it, it actually worked. He hoped for his, and Sirius', sake that it had no side effects. Looking to his left, he beamed at Sirius, or at least the big, black grim that he knew was Sirius. They nodded determinedly at each other and entered the Whomping Willow. Inside was cold and creepy. They could hear the cries of a wolf that they knew was their brother, Remus. They followed the sound and it led them to a room. They peaked in and gasped at what they saw. A big, brown werewolf was thrashing tables, chairs, and anything that was on its way. On one corner, they saw Severus curled up like a ball. His clothes were torn, his skin wounded plenty, and his hair in a mess. He looked as if he was physically abused, and judging by the murdering eyes the wolf had, James guessed it wasn't over yet. He signaled the grim beside him to get Severus as he distracts the wolf. Sirius confirmed with a nod and set off to do what James signaled. As he neared Severus, he watched James as he tried to calm Remus. So far, it wasn't working, but he knew it would. Werewolves only attack humans, he hoped that was true. He didn't stay to find out as Severus helped himself to get up on his back. When he was comfortable there, he strode off the room, leaving James to finish calming it down.  
  
~*~*~  
  
It had been four hours after, and James still wasn't coming out. Sirius was worried. That meant only two things - either Remus had killed James (he hoped not!!!) or James had stayed for Remus' sake. He prayed it was the latter.  
  
He sighed in relief as he saw two human figures come out of the Whomping Willow. It was Remus and James. He looked up and saw that the sun had come out. Now, when did that happen? Sirius didn't care. He ran up to James and Remus and hugged the two of them in total relief. He didn't know what he would do if he lost either one of them. They were his brothers for pete's sake! "Ja." A voice interrupted their excitement, "Ja. mie."  
  
The three let go of each other and looked towards the source of the voice.  
  
"Russ," James whispered gently as he tried to approach him, "You okay?"  
  
"Don't touch me!!!" Severus suddenly snapped, slapping away James hands from him. Startled, James looked at Severus with curiosity. What he saw in Severus eyes made him sick, he wanted to kill himself. Severus' eyes held hate, anger, but most of all. fear. Severus feared him!!!! 


End file.
